
I'm really tired. I think I'm suffering a burn out. I thought I could do this, but I'm suffering from fatigue barely 2 weeks into it.
I don't like it. I'm exhausted from reaching home only at 9+, 10pm every single weekday when I usually wake up early in the morning, around 6 - 8am, to head to school. I feel very stretched out rushing from school to work and then back home to do, for example, Photoshop for Zigzagzey's launches and I always end up feeling guilty that I haven't done any readings or tutorials so far.
I count down to almost every tutorial & I can't seem to pay attention to English lectures. Or I'll feel so sleepy that I actually feel like closing my eyes & switching off while walking. Not to mention, I feel uncertain with this semester being a CS sem and me having to do a lot of micro-teaching and lessons plans when I have no confidence to present in front of the class.
Be strong, Audrey, you can do this. Still, I think it's time for me to face facts that I'm no Supergirl or Iron Lady and that I probably have to give something up. What that something is though, I still have no idea. Long hrs, low pay but higher enjoyment vs short hrs, high pay but very littleee enjoyment, pls tell me how to choose.
On a brighter note, my GPA went up slightly for last sem and it's almost back on par with my best GPA ever which I got in my first semester. Sad to say, there hasn't been an overall improvement from my 1st sem to my 3rd sem, it's stagnant. Shall set a new target for the next few semesters & hopefully, maybe I can reach first class honours by my 4th year? It will be a long, tedious journey which requires all my dedication and hard work, so I really hope it works out. No need to be on Dean's list or even comfortably into first class, borderline first class would make me really happy already.
I feel stressed trying to maintain my GPA though, I had to put in quite a bit of effort to get to where I stand now, so when my friends think my grades are quite good, of course I secretly feel very happy (HAHA) but it adds to the pressure too. If I ever fall dramatically, I think I'll feel even worse, but yeah, no pressures at all hmmm? :/
Please be nice to me, 2011 & let my long awaited vacation materialize.