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addictive
I throw all of your stuff away. I’m gonna clear you out of my head. I tear you out of my heart.
And ignore all your messages. I tell everyone we are through. 'Cause I'm so much better without you.
But it’s just another pretty lie. 'Cause I break down.
Every time you come around. So how did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
Should have known better in trying to let you go. 'Cause here we go go go again.
Hard as I try I know I can't quit. Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together. you'd think that by now I'd know. cause here we go go go again.


Saturday, January 22, 2011, 2:03 AM
Whiny post alert

I'm really tired. I think I'm suffering a burn out. I thought I could do this, but I'm suffering from fatigue barely 2 weeks into it.

I don't like it. I'm exhausted from reaching home only at 9+, 10pm every single weekday when I usually wake up early in the morning, around 6 - 8am, to head to school. I feel very stretched out rushing from school to work and then back home to do, for example, Photoshop for Zigzagzey's launches and I always end up feeling guilty that I haven't done any readings or tutorials so far.

I count down to almost every tutorial & I can't seem to pay attention to English lectures. Or I'll feel so sleepy that I actually feel like closing my eyes & switching off while walking. Not to mention, I feel uncertain with this semester being a CS sem and me having to do a lot of micro-teaching and lessons plans when I have no confidence to present in front of the class.

Be strong, Audrey, you can do this. Still, I think it's time for me to face facts that I'm no Supergirl or Iron Lady and that I probably have to give something up. What that something is though, I still have no idea. Long hrs, low pay but higher enjoyment vs short hrs, high pay but very littleee enjoyment, pls tell me how to choose.

On a brighter note, my GPA went up slightly for last sem and it's almost back on par with my best GPA ever which I got in my first semester. Sad to say, there hasn't been an overall improvement from my 1st sem to my 3rd sem, it's stagnant. Shall set a new target for the next few semesters & hopefully, maybe I can reach first class honours by my 4th year? It will be a long, tedious journey which requires all my dedication and hard work, so I really hope it works out. No need to be on Dean's list or even comfortably into first class, borderline first class would make me really happy already.

I feel stressed trying to maintain my GPA though, I had to put in quite a bit of effort to get to where I stand now, so when my friends think my grades are quite good, of course I secretly feel very happy (HAHA) but it adds to the pressure too. If I ever fall dramatically, I think I'll feel even worse, but yeah, no pressures at all hmmm? :/

Please be nice to me, 2011 & let my long awaited vacation materialize.