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addictive
I throw all of your stuff away. I’m gonna clear you out of my head. I tear you out of my heart.
And ignore all your messages. I tell everyone we are through. 'Cause I'm so much better without you.
But it’s just another pretty lie. 'Cause I break down.
Every time you come around. So how did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
Should have known better in trying to let you go. 'Cause here we go go go again.
Hard as I try I know I can't quit. Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together. you'd think that by now I'd know. cause here we go go go again.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 3:21 PM
The choice

To tell the truth, i never really thought about being a teacher, except maybe when i was a kid. You know when you're a kid, you have a million and one careers you want to work in.

When you see 'Aiyoyo lao shi' or 'Fang lao shi' from Yang Guang Lie Che, you want to be a teacher. When you see cops chasing and nailing down bad guys on television, you want to be a policeman. I wanted to be everything from a cook to a spy. I even wanted to be a lawyer (Media Law soon put an end to this!)

When I grew older, I wanted to be either a social worker or work at a magazine. Oh, or as an event planner or a matchmaker in those dating agencies. HAHAH. After I went into CMM, I thought about becoming a TV producer.

After I graduated, I thought perhaps I might not want to work in the Media industry that much. That's when I thought I would like to work with children. But still, I was thinking more along the lines of a childcare teacher. Not a teacher teacher definitely.

NIE wasn't my first choice when I applied to NTU, but it was one of the only two option available to me because NUS rejected me & I didn't apply for SMU. The other option was RMIT - SIM Business Management degree specializing in Human Resources.

& seriously, applying to SIM was an impulsive action, triggered by the fear of not getting into any universities since it looks like the local Unis aren't exactly clamouring to accept me. I'm not really that interested in studying Business.

That's when I thought seriously and hard about becoming a teacher. & the fact is, the benefits for trainee teachers studying in NIE is really rather attractive, especially at a time when my dad has lost his job and would definitely not be able to pay for my school fees.

I guess those factors helped me to make my decision. Somebody once asked me whether I was settling for NIE, just because this is one of the only 2 options I have and I really didn't want to start working full time. Maybe in a way I am. But I don't think I am settling totally. If I really didn't like the idea of being a teacher or teaching, I would not have accepted it. If it was an engineering degree that was offered to me, I wouldn't have taken it because I have zero interest in being an engineer.

Maybe it wasn't my first choice initially. But its a choice I'm happy with, something I can imagine myself doing and I really don't want to think so much anymore.