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addictive
I throw all of your stuff away. I’m gonna clear you out of my head. I tear you out of my heart.
And ignore all your messages. I tell everyone we are through. 'Cause I'm so much better without you.
But it’s just another pretty lie. 'Cause I break down.
Every time you come around. So how did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
Should have known better in trying to let you go. 'Cause here we go go go again.
Hard as I try I know I can't quit. Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together. you'd think that by now I'd know. cause here we go go go again.


Friday, May 22, 2009, 9:03 PM
the mistake

I made a big mistake, which i partly take the blame for. It led to something else which I accept is totally my fault. Maybe that's why i didn't bother arguing.

On the long bus ride home, I read my novel, looked out the window at the familiar sights and roads of Singapore and I thought long and hard about it.

It's true. If you aren't happy in something, you should try to change it, instead of just letting it be or dragging it on. I wanted to end it on my own terms but instead I had to end it on someone else's terms.

I'm sorry about it, I am. For all the troubles I caused and for the fact that I have let people down. I'm disappointed at myself too. I have acted like the person I don't want to be. I have always wanted to succeed, no matter in which area. This time, I was a failure.

Now that i have accepted it though, I realised what happened might not be that bad. It is humiliating, yes. But it is also a lesson learned (as true as it sounds cliche) and a blessing in disguise.

Hopefully, one day I'll be able to look back and appreciate the lesson this experience taught me.